I woke up early, packed up, ate the rest of my groceries and put my trash in the last bear-proof bin I‘d see in a while. Then I walked over to the intersection, a cardboard with „Oakland“ on it, in my hand. Soon, a girl chatted me up, suggesting that I come to Mariposa. I was hesitatinf and declined, almost sure that I’ll get a direct ride to the Bay Area. After all, hitchhiking has never failed me!

It seemed though that few people were leaving the valley, or at least not driving in my prefered direction. After waiting two hours, I gave up and walked to the YARTS station, the bus connecting Yosemite with Merced. It would arrive in the afternoon, so I got a bit of time to kill and went to the facelift stands to talk to people about job opportunities next summer. Volunteering would be a start, but then working as a climbing guide would be better suited than giving tourists directions. I just have to find a sponsor.

The bus took me to Merced and from there I took an Amtrak to Oakland directly. I had to wait around, but it was inexpensive and I got to see more of California‘s small cities and farms on hills. I was excited for San Francisco and meeting some friends, but I also felt a sting of pain as I had to say goodbye to the wilderness and especially Yosemite for a full year.

From Oakland Station, I walked over to a small, cozy Irish Pub and ordered beer. My friend Alix and his lover Chrystal showed up soon after.

We had more drinks until Alix took us to his relatively new house, where we had great Mezcal and hilarious conversations on the patio. I was able to use the guestroom and it felt great to be in a house with a toilet and shower. Also being back in an openly queer and kinky environment felt incredible – the mutual understanding of gender and the politics around it – the soft and caring attention – the non-shaming attitude and of course all the jokes I couldn‘t really do around mostly straight climbers and hikers.

I woke up and found a chocolate bar next to my tent – the Austrian couple left it as a b-day gift – I love small gestures like that and it immediately brought me in a good mood. When I returned from the lodge with coffee in my hand, two sweet girls I had met at the river, Christine and … (??? I‘m bad with names, sorry! 😅) made me breakfast burritos, folded like a crêpe with onions, eggs, sausage and tomatoes inside!

Saseen and I arranged our gear, picked up a sixpack of IPA beer and walked over to the Five Open Books crag. Two other guys, Chris and Ian, joined us. After discussing back and forth and almost melting from the heat, we decided to to an easy multi-pitch trad climb called Munginella. It was just too hot to do any hard routes.

I racked up with lots of friends and nuts and shot up the first two pitches, barely placing gear as the stone was almost too hot to touch and I didn‘t want to stay in one place longer than necessary. I set up a belay under a shady tree and brought Ian up. The climbing was fun and had a bit of everything – cracks, face climbing, big flakes… but nothing too difficult.

The other two followed quickly but on the very end of this beautiful climb, we had to wait a while until Saseen recovered his phone he had dropped at one belay.

We scrambled back down and decided to go swimming. A little further, at the Lower Yosemite Falls, a hidden trail lead past a bunch of gaping tourists into the forest and then up some very polished boulders.

We arrived at Lower Falls Amphitheater and marvelled at the dark red and brown stone – just like the rock at Pat & Jack, this didn‘t look like granite at all. Some chalk-lined cracks lead up an otherwise featureless wall. Other Camp 4 climbers including Disco were already there and getting started.

We had to go swimming first – the crag was in shade but we were sweating so much. At the opposite of the climbing wall was a thin waterfall, filling the most beautiful outdoor pool I‘ve seen so far.

The water was not too cold and refreshing. We fooled around in the pool, trying to deep water solo (of course) which didn’t work at all so we cooled the beers and chilled out, talking about climbing non-stop and watching other climbers. After two beers, I was ready to lead „Ranger Crack“ a beautiful and mellow 5.8. – it didn‘t force your hand and feet to stay in the crack permanently which was comfortable. I was content with that – a solid onsight lead for my birthday. Each one of us took a successful turn on it.

Later in the evening we had a bonfire and many more beers – the guys from my campsite had a huge box full of free beer, for reasons I forgot. More people joined and shared their experiences, the routes they did, the projects they wanted to do. I was happy to have such lovely company for my birthday and decided to come back next year at exactly the same time, but longer. I want to start with big wall climbing – why wait any longer?

Saseen and I took snapshots of sport routes in the guidebook and drove to the crag in his colorful van (every second person I meet lives in a van…). To start off we picked „Pat & Jack“, a wall that features lots of harder technical climbing and routes full of big knobby holds.

We did a small multi-pitch tour – I couldn‘t lead the 2nd pitch and struggled even in toprope! It was rated 5.10a 😅

We rappeled and went on to do „Knobheads“ a route with two parts: the first 5.10b section was a steep slab with very small, slopey holds and required good technical climbing, the second part – 5.10a – started off of a ledge and was absolute bliss – one good knob hold after the other. The stone felt and looked almost like vulcanic tuffa, black red and grey knobs and holes – perfectly made for climbing.

The first bolt was very high and although the route looked easy, it was scary to get to the bolt, as the movements required precision footwork and pulling tiny slopey holds. I ended up being too scared, so Saseen went up and clipped the first bolt for me. I was able to do it then and went up without stopping except for a tiny fall.

After Saseen did the route, I set the goal for myself to do it again, properly and from ground up without falls. I was able to control and breathe through my fear. Moving slowly and balancing on delicate footholds and slopers, I moved up the 5.10b section on to the easy, enjoyable climbing. It was hard for me to believe that 5.10b was once my onsight level…but then lots of things changed since then.

On the way to the next crag we met people in the parking lot who gave us guarana icecream, so we stopped and talked more about climbing and Burning Man festival. Driving back into the valley was interesting as it offered a new perspective – gigantic cliffs, waterfalls, deep pools and walls that were seemingly made for climbing.

We pulled into the parking lot of Chapel Wall – the same shady crag I had already visited with Yoshi. I attempted to climb a 5.10b but the bolts were extremly spaced, requiring additional gear that neither of us had so I came back down. Saseen did a 5.11 something with some rests and falls inbetween – it was super hard and I was impressed, especially as I was struggling in toprope to get up. Some moves seemed so „far away“ from my abilities that I laughed when I finally did them.

Hungry and thirsty from the day, we got a burrito at the facelift event and all of a sudden, Nate came around to hug me! What a nice surprise!

Tommy Caldwell spoke about his recent political work and efforts to make people climate change aware. Then there was Enock Glidden, a gifted climber in a wheelchair who made it all the way up on El Cap. And pro-climber Molly Mitchels, who openly talked about her anxiety and how climbing can help with that. More beer went into my belly and I was very happy to see my community – who are mostly straight, white, able bodied male climbers – listening to people who struggle but still manage to climb.

Today was the first day of this trip where I could sleep as long as I wanted to. I woke up at 10am and got coffee, went to Curry Village for a shower, relaxed in the lounge and read a lot. My knees and feet could still feel the impact from the big hike the day before. Kneeling down became almost impossible!

In the afternoon I walked over to a swimming spot – the Merced river winds through the whole valley, creating beautiful sandy beaches and natural pools. Disco and two girls joined me and I had rather warm beer while resting in the sunshine. After a while, a baby deer crossed the river and walked right towards us. It looked curious – maybe it wanted a sip of my beer?

Disco and I arrived early at the Yosemite Facelift opening evening. The annual clean-up project was introduced and three very inspiring women spoke: Heidi Wirtz, Kimmy Fasani and Emily Harrington. They talked about current and past projects, sending super hard routes and personal issues like how fewer women used to climb in the 80s and 90s or how to be a mother and a professional snowboarder at the same time. It was very inspiring and promoting diversity in the outdoor sports scene.

Disco got more pale ale for us, I got autographs on my new helmet and we rode his motorcycle back to camp4. Buzzing with climbing enthusiasm from the talk, I felt the urgent need to find a climbing partner for the next day, I was happy to find the note I had left at Saseen’s table earlier answered in front of my tent. We hit it off the first time so I was psyched to go climbing with him again!

I had not entirely recovered from the past couple of days‘ climbing but as those were my last four days in Yosemite, I figured I had to hike up to El Capitan.

I got up early and started in shade, but soon the sun came out and it wasn‘t friendly. Endless granite switchbacks climbed past Upper Yosemite Fall to the top. My knees were hurting badly but I pushed myself up on my hiking poles. It was a beautiful hike and shortly before noon, I reached El Cap!

It‘s big, also from above – at first I had to quench my hunger and thirst before I could continue to hike to the very edge of the dome. Right there important history happened 26 years ago – this was were Lynn Hill had climbed up and finished the first free ascent of „The Nose“, I thought and touched the rocks, full of emotions. For a while, I was alone up there, just me and the wind.

Hiking down was very hard and it took me another 3 hours. The light kept changing and allowed me to take millions of pictures of Half Dome and the Valley.

My dinner was very yummy: beef with spinach, cheese and tomatoe sauce wrapped in a burrito. I had to eat in my tent as the wasps were circling the food aggressively. Later I got to taste a typical IPA beer – Hazy Daze – a Californian brew, for the first time. I didn‘t like the pine-tree aftertaste and the structure of the beer but I might give it another try!

The morning started with oatmeal, cookies, tea and good coffee – provided by the Austrian couple. I had to extend my campsite for four more days and as it was Sunday, there was free coffee at the ranger kiosk. I had texted Disco, a friendly guy from Michigan, to meet up and see what we would like to climb. His suggestion proved to be excellent as I would see later: The Grack – Center (5.6.) and Haley Daley (5.8.), both routes situated on Glacier Apron, a giant slab full of splitter cracks.

Disco and I rode his motorbike to the parking lot, the climbing rope tied to the back and me screaming at the tourists and waving my taped hands – I felt particularly bad ass doing that.

Leading the routes was spectacular – all my hand- and feetjams worked, the sun was blazing down but I still refused to use chalk, which wasn‘t a problem yet. The first route was easy but had a small, slightly run-out part on the top, where the crack disappeared and you had to move up on tiny flakes on the wall up to the anchor. Being used to run-outs and sometimes creating them with my rather spare placement of gear (sonetimes scarier to the belayer/follower…) I went up and clipped into the bolts – what a wonderful route!

The second crack route we did, Haley Daley, had scarier parts and my feet kept cramping up as I pressed them on the smooth walls where it was impossible to insert them in the crack. It involed all kinds of movements – stemming, liebacking, traversing and lots of jamming – I even had to use some fingerlocks – what a feeling when they actually work!

On a mini-roof I placed a solid cam and suddenly I got scared while trying to stand up on one foot on a knob at the edge of the roof. My famous monologues started and Disco had a good laugh. I couldn‘t do it. My arms were getting pumped and I feared to slip and lose control. I came back down to the anchor and on the second attempt, I climbed it without a break as if it was easy. Climbing is so weird – it is all about mind comtrol. The crack got scarier upwards, but I pulled and pushed until I reached the top. At some moves I thought: this is impossible – my feet or hands ARE going to slide off at any moment – but somehow I kept going and it worked! My brain doesn‘t seem to be a good climbing partner sometimes 😉

We rappelled and scrambled back down. The rest of the day I read in my book „Hangdog Days“ by Jeff Smoot – there‘s a lot of stories about Yosemite climbing inside. My hands were scratched and sore – the best feeling!

I agreed to belay Yoshi on his project, a 5.13b classic, a slightly overhanging fingercrack called Cosmic Debris.

We parked at the chapel and walked over to the wall. Yoshi suddenly stopped and pointed to an elegant, grey animal moving silently and stalking its’ prey – it was a bobcat! They are rate!! I was exstatic to see it but the animal didn‘t really care to pose for a photo, it briefly looked at us and went on hunting.

Yoshi proceded to „warm up“ on the same 5.12 route of yesterday…it‘s beyond me how to do that, pulling through incredible hard moves without a proper warm-up. I didn‘t want to follow this time, saving my fingers from the torture.

To get to the second pitch of Cosmic Debris, we had to jumar

up a fixed line Yoshi had already installed. I had to take my backpack with me and wore a down jacket, so it got hot pretty fast – jumaring is exhausting, but then I‘m not sure I’m using the most efficient technique. Sweating and huffing, I arrived at the anchor and looked up – a thin, finger- to hand sized crack winding up on an otherwise featureless wall. 5.13b. Will I ever be strong enough to climb that hard?

Yoshi tied into the rope and worked his way up, placing gear after gear, often pausing and taking a few falls. He did it a second time, in toprope mode, clearing his friends off the route.

My stomach was rumbling – I‘ve only had what I called a carb-bomb, a bagel with peanutbutter for breakfast… so I munched a clifbar and a plum while Yoshi rested. Then we descended quickly and Yoshi took off with his car to Oakhurst to do some grocery shopping.

I decided to go to the library to update my blog. In the afternoon, I refilled my coffee cup at the Lodge without anyone noticing – how convenient 😅 I had another burrito dinner, stacked up on beer and walked to the internet spot a second time – I can‘t keep up with all the stuff that‘s happening. The last two weeks, it seems like, are passing extremely fast.

When I came back to my tent, I found a bag with fresh veggies in my bear locker – thanks, Yoshi. The other guys from the site had a small party but I was so tired, I fell asleep within minutes.

As some people left the campsite, I was able to move my tent away from the giant trees that had dripped sticky resin on everything. An Austrian couple settled into the campsite. Over dinner they told me that they had already climbed The Nose 20 years ago! They‘re in their late 50s and still going strong, hiking and climbing every day. It gives me hope 😅

I had a plan for today: 26 year old powergun Yoshi from Tokio asked if I would like to climb easy stuff. The night before, I watched him explode on a V4/V5 boulder at the campsite, illuminated by headlamps. So I wondered how „easy“ it would be. We chose the crag where „Nutcracker“ is located.

We drove his car to the base, hiked up and did „After Six“ (5.7. / 5.8.?), a multi-pitch tour leading up a sunny wall starting with a rather polished crack/lieback system.

I followed and noticed that although he placed frequent protection, Yosh was rather a minimalist – not fluent in English, he only spoke the necessary words and took only few gear pieces such as carabiners and alpine draws with him. The wind added to the confusion when to put him on or off belay as we couldn’t hear each other anymore.

Two other parties in the route held us up, we had to wait around and I could sense that Yosh and I would be much faster, both climbing pitches until there was no rope left. On the last one, Yosh made a contour around a Japanese couple as they were super slow.

The rock quality was extraordinary and I felt thrilled when we arrived on top. The descent was less fun and I cursed at my hurting, weak knees.

Then we drove direction Curry Village – Yoshi showed me a 5.12a line in the shadowy base of north-sided Chapel Wall. It was bolted and had chalk marks here and there. To me, sports climbing is scarier than trad climbing – which is super weird.

After Yoshi fought his way up, it was my turn. My first try was stiff and unelegant, I couldn‘t see any decent footholds and the sharp micro holds dug into my fingers. I have never climbed a 5.12a outdoors, but after Yosh was able to redpoint it, I was keen to try it again and link the moves. The first half actually worked, but then I couldn‘t go on. It was too painful and I asked to be lowered.

We went to take a shower at Curry Village and got more beer at the shop afterwards. Yoshi shared a pineapple sausage with me that I wrapped in a giant tortilla – everything I eat these days goes in a burrito.

He was too tired to join me at Anne‘s birthday party but I went for a beer and the campfire. Then I also felt heavy sleep overcoming me – it has been a long day!

(To my non-climbing friends: this sounds like food items but they‘re crack climbing techniques 😜)

The two Germans at my campsite, Benedikt and Sebastian, suggested going climbing together and we picked a shady crag close to the campsite. Two other guys chatted me up too, so for the next days I would have climbing partners lined up! I‘ll admit that I didn‘t know exactly what grade and style I would be capable to climb, but I figured that I could always follow a route somehow. But as usual I was keen to lead, even if it was harder than expected.

Full of excitement, I ran off towards the crag and stopped at the Swan Slab, soloing an easy route as a warm-up. Sweden is the only other place where I‘ve climbed on granite and it was much rougher there, causing the feet to have more friction!

When the guys arrived, I had my hands already thickly taped and tried to insert them in the slots and cracks the wall offered. It takes a lot of trust to „jam“ – especially with your feet – it‘s painful and (in my case) desperate. The fear of slipping is constant, but it didn‘t happen – instead I fell off on a face wall.

Bene lead the first pitch of „Jamcrack“ a beautiful, hand-sized crack line up the grey wall. The second pitch was harder, requiring endurance and even some fingerlocks, but Sebastian made it after a while, Bene and I followed. We were happy with the success and the views were spectacular! I was looking down and keeping an eye on the bags, as there was food in it, I felt like an animal thief was going to snatch the backpacks any minute.

After that we set up a toprope for the two fingercrack lines next to Jamcrack, a 5.10c and d. It was awesome climbing and excellent training!

During morning coffee, I told Bene a bit more about my mystery disease and he revealed he also had lyme disease and it had fucked him up. I really want to get better and healthier, to be able to climb harder!

After working on the fingercracks, our skin was torn, but I wanted to go for one more thing: an easy, but a little exposed multi-pitch-tour called Sunnyside (Bench), rated 5.5. with a 5.6. movement. I led one pitch, the most exposed, but it was all still pretty mellow.

The evening ended with a lot of whiskey and beer at Anne‘s campsite, with her telling hilarious stories about her Canadian hometown climbing scene. Don‘t drink and climb, kids! (Or was it the other way round, do climb and drink?)

I did not want to get up today. But then, lots of things had to be done: shopping for postcards (of course another climbing history book „somehow“ found the way into my shopping bag…), finding faster internet and contact lense solution. I found those in the libary – the sweet librarian Christine gave me the wifi password and her personal eye drops – a replacement for my contacts solition which was nowhere to be found. We joked around and I told her about my plans to climb and hike El Capitan.

For lunch, I had a really nice burrito with fresh spinach, tomatoes, scrambled eggs and ham, sour creme and a bit of organic guacamole (that cost like 6$ 😱). Feeling satisfied, I took off wandering the Valley Loop Trail towards El Capitan. I finally had to see it!

As I approached, the crowds disappeared and I could actually pay attention to the nature around me and the autumn colours of the meadows and forests. I think September is a perfect month in several climbing locations where I have been so far – it shows nature from its‘ best side.

So, El Capitan is big. Like, really big. And somehow, it kept pulling me closer and closer, it was both intimidating and mesmerizing to look at. I ran up the small approach trail and laid my hands on the smooth, warm rock. This is where Lynn Hill and thousands of other strong climbers started, countless times. It was incomprehensible that such big climbs started off this „normal“ looking wall at the base.

The granite looked so incredibly clean and good, I changed into climbing shoes as if I was in trance. Trusting the rock, I carefully yet quickly moved up on ledges and good holds. The feeling was amazing, the views too. A few other guys tried to scramble up but no one got as high as I did, so I had a good ledge to sit on and look down. I did not feel scared a bit.

Further above were several parties, hauling their bags up or slowly advancing on their routes. When I got down I saw a guy rapping down a fixed line and asked him where The Nose actually begins. He pointed towards the start of the first approach pitch, where I had just scrambled up. Oh my god! I free soloed one percent of The Nose, I thought to myself and giggled. Lynn Hill And Alex Honnold might have touched the very same holds!

Hiking back to Camp 4, I felt a bliss that only comes from climbing. My bad mood was blown away and I felt lots of anticipation for the coming months of training. I really got to step up, it‘s now or never. As winter in Berlin is very dark and cold, I want to use the time to get strong again!